Dear Jayden

It’s been 2 months today since our sweet little angel was born, and it’s been an emotional day. We miss him and love him so much! I just wanted to share with you this letter we wrote for Jayden.

Jayden,

Your dad and I just wanted you to know that we have a testimony of Jesus Christ, the Gospel, and of eternal families, although this one is written, we hope that as you watch us you will see we have a testimony. We love you so much and are so proud to be your parents. Even though your life was short here on Earth, you have had and will continue to have a huge impact on us. Through this amazing journey of bringing you here, we have learned and grown so much.

We learned patience and to trust in God’s will and timing when we were trying to have children. After 2 years He blessed us with you. We learned more love as we heard your first heartbeat, felt your first kick and got to hold you the first time. We never fully understood the power of prayer until we felt the faith, comfort and sustaining power of the spirit through the prayers of ward members, family and friends. Our faith was strengthened through this experience as you and I had priesthood blessings and we learned to trust in the Lord with all our hearts.

Heavenly Father loves each of us and knows us personally. We have felt Heavenly Father’s love through the service we have received from all of the people who have reached out a loving hand without any hesitation. We know service brings us closer to God and this is how we receive true happiness.

Your dad and I have come to more deeply appreciate our marriage in the temple and the blessing it brings. You have brought us closer together and we have truly come to know that families are eternal and are so grateful for the Plan of Salvation. This is something we had taken for granted up until now. What a wonderful Plan Heavenly Father has for each of us so we can return to Him and if we are faithful we can be together as a family forever.

We know Jesus Christ made all of this possible and because of his infinite sacrifice. His Atonement and Resurrection has taken on a whole new dimension and meaning through this experience. We are eternally grateful for our Savior and Redeemer Jesus Christ who has brought us this joy of knowing we can be with you again. Jayden, may you know, our greatest blessing was having you!

All our love,

Dad and Mom

What I Wish Everyone Knew

I saw the following on a blog and thought this might help those of you who do not know how to approach me about us losing our son Jayden.

What I Wish Everyone Knew

I wish everyone knew that this hurt never goes away. We still need support, and I still need to hear my son's name. Now, even more than before, I NEED to have his life validated.

I wish everyone knew ....that even though my baby's death was the most painful experience of my life, I am grateful for the pain, and I would still choose to have him even knowing that it would end the same....and I would give anything to cuddle him in my arms again, if only for a brief moment.

I wish everyone knew... that my heart leaps with joy every time someone asks me about my baby.

I wish everyone knew that a baby's age or size at birth or death does not determine how much of a person he was or how much he will be loved or missed.

I wish everyone knew that losing a tiny baby is just as difficult and painful as losing any other child.

I wish everyone knew how much I need to talk about my baby, and how happy it makes me when someone asks about them.

I wish everyone knew the struggle that I go through everyday to answer the simplest questions, like: How many children do you have?

I wish everyone knew it is ok to talk about my loss.

I wish everyone knew that I think of my baby all the time.

I wish everyone knew that I have completely changed because of my experience.

I wish everyone knew how much I love and miss my baby

I wish everyone knew how much I need to talk about him and remember him.

I wish everyone knew what it felt like to hold him, still, perfect, breathtaking and have to leave him.

I wish everyone knew what it felt like to long for just 1 more second with their baby. Maybe then they could truly cherish all the billions of seconds they get with theirs.

I wish everyone knew that us mommies who lose our babies carry them with us everywhere we go...for the rest of our lives...and to say we are changed...is putting it rather lightly.

I wish everyone knew and appreciated what an absolute miracle each and every child is, from conception to birth, viable and enviable.

I wish everyone knew that even though I can smile and go to work and "function" like everyone else, I'm not like everyone else.

I wish everyone knew that even if you don't know what to say to me, saying nothing at all is more painful than you can imagine. Ignoring me and never speaking to me again because it makes you uncomfortable to be around me is worse than being uncomfortable or saying the wrong thing.

http://idahoangelbabies.blogspot.com/

Our Little Angel

I’m sure you’ve all been wondering how we are doing and what’s going on with us. For the most part we are doing good, we’ve had some rough days but mostly good days, thankfully. We know there are more rough days ahead but we continue to feel comfort because of all the prayers that continue to be said for our family. We truly are so touched by the outpouring of love we have received. Thank you. We will be back in California July 12th and will start working again.

We thought you might like to see our perfect little angel Jayden. Here are some of our favorite pictures of him.

Jayden Neal...

Dear Friends & Family,

I struggle as I try to find the words to write this. Jayden Neal was born early this morning. He is beautiful! His forty minutes of life here on earth was filled with love and adoration. His dad gave him a beautiful blessing. Angie, Neal and his grandparents were able to hold and love him, until he slipped back up to heaven. Neal & Angie are at peace, they know this was Heavenly Father's plan for Jayden. They have a hard road ahead, but thank each of you for the love and support shown to them.

Maybe this is not the miracle we wanted, but a miracle still the same. Life is precious, and we are in awe of Our Heavenly Father's love for each of us. We are thankful for that beautiful hour and half that Jayden was in our lives. He has truly touched the lives of many.

Jayden...

Hello! I got this e-mail from my dad last night, attached were these pictures, he said: One is of the little boy willow tree statue that Debbie one of the nurses gave her with a really nice card. All the nurses want to take care of Angie and be a part of the miracle, We have seen many of the doctors drop in and check on her when they are not even on call. They are all amazed. Angie has the best attitude and Neal is so attentive. I told mom every Dad would hope for a son in law that would care for his daughter like he has.
I can truly tell that the Lord is on our side and listening to our prayers so many little miracles - happening everyday and Every day brings Jayden more time and hope. By the way the name Jayden means - God has heard - and God truly has heard him and is assisting him already in his earth life.

Also to answer some of your questions, yes, Angie is still dilated to a 10, once you are dilated there is no going back. I had that same question. :) She is still having contractions but it is less and less, night time is harder for some reason. I talked to Angie yesterday, and it was great just to hear her voice! She sounded tired, but in good spirits! I haven't talked to my mom or Angie today, if anything has changed I will post later today.

Thanks again for all the love and concern, we are truly blessed with incredible friends and family. We love you all and appreciate the prayers, love and support more than you will ever know!

Still hanging in there...

Angie is still hanging in there, she's SO tough! We are so proud of her! Her contractions have slowed to about 45 minutes. Jayden is doing great too. My mom said they tear up watching how Neal takes care of Angie, he won't even leave the hospital.

Also another cute little story, my mom said that the other day a nurse stopped back in to Angie's room, and she said, "I can't believe you are still here, you're going to be one of those miracles, aren't you?!"

They read through all of your comments yesterday, and felt your love. :) Thank you!!

I also read this quote and thought it was fitting.

"Today's Trial is Tomorrows Testimony"

The Latest...

Just when life seemed the darkest the magnificent miracle of spring appeared!
Well as you know in situations like this things can change in a matter of minutes! My mom just called and Angie's contractions have slowed from every 5 minutes to about every 10 minutes. That is great news! What is even better is that the doctors came in and told them that they were going to go ahead and give Angie the steroid shot to enable this little guys lungs to start growing. HUGE BLESSING! Last night they didn't think that was even a possiblity. So keep up the prayers, they are working!

We need a Miracle...

Hello friends and family of Neal and Angie, this is Holly her older sister. I don't know how many of you have heard, but Sunday night Angie was admitted to the hospital. I don't know all the technical terms, and won't go into much detail, but she is now in labor and the baby will be born in the next few days. The little guy is healthy but she is only about 22 weeks along. The chance of survival for this sweet little guy is very slim. This is their first baby, we waited a long time to get him. I have a testimony of the power of prayer, I know that Heavenly Father knows Neal & Angie's situation and is very aware of their little family right now. We just need a miracle! So would you please say a little prayer for my sister and her family. We need all the faith & prayers we can get. Thank you so much! I will try to update my blog and Angie's as often as I can. Thank you!



Update....

First of all THANK YOU so much for all the prayers in Neal & Angie's behalf. We can all feel them. There is truly strength in numbers. My parents flew down yesterday morning to be with them, and Neal's parents should be there today. Angie is dilated to a 10, they are still trying to hold off full out labor. She was unable to be on the pain meds, since they were making her heart race, which I'm sure was pretty miserable for her, but last night they got her heart rate back down and she was able to be back on the morphine. What a blessing! She had a good night my mom said. The doctors are pretty amazed at her pain tolerance and that the baby has not come yet. She is 23 weeks along exactly today. If our sweet little guy can make it 7 more days the statistics of him surviving go up dramatically. They can give Angie a steroid shot to induce lung growth in him. We are just holding on and hoping for a miracle! Please continue to pray for them. We would appreciate it so much! I will update if anything changes or as often as I get any new news. Thanks again!

Pictures of Baby Guymon. . .

Week 19:

He must really think face-down is comfortable.
Some of them are hard to tell what the picture is of but he's cute as heck already! :)

It's a boy!

More pics showing he's a boy...he's not afraid to hide it from us is he?!


His hand and foot...and thank goodness he has all his fingers and toes!

Me and baby at Week 21

Enjoying family and my 24th Birthday. . .

This last week I had a great birthday present...my parents and my grandparents came to visit. Neal woke up and made me breakfast for my birthday and when our guests got here we went to Cheesecake Factory for my birthday dinner YUM!

Singing birthday wishes to me at Cheesecake factory...

We brought home the cheesecake and everyone sang again...really if it's your birthday you can't get enough of the Birthday Song! And would you look at that prego belly! WOW it's getting big!

The next day we went to Ontario to a free U/S clinic so they could see Baby Guymon. It was fun for them to be there. Once again our baby was pronounced a boy, with big feet :) Afterward we did a little shopping at the Ontario Mills Outlet Mall. That evening we went to the Fullerton Farmer's Market and enjoyed the fresh fruit!

Here's Grandma and Grandpa Olsen with the "Mall Cops"

Farmer's Market
This little baby horse was only 3 days old! So cute I had to get a pic!

Friday we went to LA to visit the Museum of Tolerance. It was a great reminder that we must be careful or history may repeat itself. At the beginning of the exhibit they gave us a card with a child's name and picture on it and at the end they gave us a print out of the child to see if they lived or survived the Holocaust. One of the things I will never forget was near the end of the exhibit they have you walk through this gate that looked like the ones they had at the concentration/death camps. As you walk through the gate you realize that most people that walked through were never going to return. It was very touching experience and of course I cried.Here are my parents cooling off their feet after being on them all day!

I know random picture to stick in but I had to post Neal's eye model which he spent hours on! Plus he's just so good looking....

Saturday we drove to the San Diego Temple. It is a beautiful temple inside and out! We also stopped at Laguna Beach afterwards and heard and saw a lot of seals.

Laguna Beach
I think we may have had a little too much fun...we sure wore them out!

We had such a wonderful time with you Mom and Dad Bodily and Grandma and Grandpa Olsen. So glad you were able to come visit. Can't wait until you come again! Love you guys!

IT'S A...

For all of you who were dying to know! I'm hoping he looks like a "little Neal" because Neal was the cutest little kid! I'll post the U/S pics later and an updated belly pic...I'm getting HUGE! :)

Baby Update. . .

So I am officially in my second trimester now and my belly is really starting to show and tell! Here are some of our ultrasound pictures of the adorable baby! This U/S was taken at 11 weeks. The top one our baby has it's little arm raised to its head...the bottom one is my favorite though, you can see the profile really good. We had an appointment on Monday and we got to see the little ribs and spine and our baby even looked right up at us! It was so neat. I already have so much love for this little one, it amazes me! What a miracle that is taking place!



When I chose my word CREATE for 2009. I was hoping this would be one of the things I would create and I am so grateful Heavenly Father has blessed us with this gift. The journey was not an easy one but I'm so glad I went through it because I totally understand how it feels on both sides. Longing for a baby month after month and now gratefully having one grow inside me.



We will be finding out what we're having in a couple of weeks so stay tuned :)

Free Nursing Cover

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Happy Valentine's Day!

To all of our family and friends!

Just thought you'd all like to know...